End of the Year...But Not of His Grace

Where has the time gone? It seems like only yesterday I was watching my Broncos play in the Fiesta Bowl (winning by a score of 17-10).....yet it was in January. It seems like my Sisters of the Heart were just here.....only that was May. My visit to Pittsburgh was back in June; it seems like I was just saying tearful good-byes. I have already been working at my job for six weeks...I remember the days when I was a volunteer. Truly, the past 365 days have come and gone as quickly as could be.

I go through this every year. I wonder where the time has gone. I think about all of the accomplishments of the past year. I also think about what didn't happen. I wonder if life will always be so money conscious, if my hopes and dreams will come to pass, etc. You get the idea.

I have no idea what 2011 will hold. If you were to ask me what I think, I plan on enrolling in CollegePlus to get my degree in journalism. I will still work at the library. I will be taking a trip to Pittsburgh again to celebrate a dear sister's graduation. But all of this is my idea. I don't know what God's plan is.

I do know one thing. His grace will be neverending. I am bound to fall on my face half a billion times. I am sure to still have fear and hypochondria looming under the surface. I am going to have periods of doubt and despair. But my Father is not going to abandon me. He will pick me up when I stumble. He will wipe away my tears. He will give me evidence that He is there. And He will love me no matter what I do.

That is a promise that He will bestow on all of us this upcoming year. Head into 2011 with your head held high, knowing how much He loves you

Learning to Lean

I hate to admit it. But I must be truthful. While I would like for people to think I am capable of everything, that I have no struggles or issues, I can't. I am a perfectionist plain and simple. I want situations to be resolved immediately; I like to know the answer to the "why" of a question without asking someone else....or, heaven forbid, I am left not knowing. It makes me vulnerable and I don't like that.

God has been growing me since beginning my job a month ago. I have had to learn the "art" of asking people questions, such as "Where can I find this?" or "What do I about this?", that type of thing. I tried once answering the phones by myself within a day of my taking the job. Let's just say I would love to have that opportunity to do over again! =D I figured out that if I lean on others who know more than I do, I will end up learning faster and not make many mistakes. I will become a more well rounded individual if I take the eyes off of myself.

Of course, there have been areas in which I have no mortal person to lean on. Around Thanksgiving, my bird died. I don't know why. Was it the cold? Was it something I did? I don't have the answer; I never will. I have had to lean on the Father for comfort and peace and understanding. I have also had to lay certain coworkers at the feet of Jesus. I mean, why do I have to deal with a boss who is the polar opposite of myself? (Which means she is a slightly crabby introvert) Why do I have people asking questions about homeschooling when I know they won't understand the answer behind it? These two questions only skim the surface of my emotions at work.....and I don't have the ability to have the answers on my own.

God's grace is amazing and abundant. It always is. But when you are weak, I believe wholeheartedly that is when HE is strongest. He alone gets the credit for helping me keep my perfectionism under the surface. And He alone is the one I am glad to lean on with those things beyond my control.