"Do Not Awaken Love"

"Promise me, O women of Jerusalem, by the swift gazelles and the deers of the wild, not to awaken love until the time is right."(Song of Songs 2:7 NLT)

A few days ago, I read this verse on Rebekah's Blog, as a part of her daily Bible verse. I have to be honest, this verse got me to thinking...a lot! I pondered how absolutely vital living this verse out is.

Lately, I have been reading a lot about weddings. Natalie at YLCF, Alice's sister, Naomi, Genevieve from Isaacharian Daughters. I think these are the three I can think of off the top of my head. Now, I am absolutely happy for them. They have waited for their turn to say those wonderful words and start families of their own. I find weddings to be one of the best occasions on earth...and it can be HARD not to start imagining our own. You all probably know the feeling: the colors, the bridesmaids, the music, and (dare I admit it) wondering who the groom is.

Now, we all know these thoughts are wrong, particularly the last one. We know that we need to be not only physically pure, but emotionally as well. All of us recognize that for most of us, we have some years of singleness ahead. And that "Unless she has been asked to marry him, why would a sensible woman promise any man her exclusive attention?" (Elisabeth Elliot, yet I read it in I Kissed Dating Good-Bye) is very sound advice.

I wanted to write this post to be honest once again. I do struggle with my mind sometimes. As I find highschool nearing its completion, I wonder if my husband is around the corner. For the record, I am not going to stop creating my list of essential qualities, or reading beautiful courtships stories that bring God glory, or even praying for the man who will come in my life. And yes, I will still watch my favorite movies. However, I want to have accountability with all of you. I want us all to be praying about this area in each other's life. Not awakening love is Biblical, and I want to follow what He says. Sure, it isn't going to be easy, and it might mean taking some measures, but I want my husband not only to have my purity in body, but in my mind as well. Do you desire the same thing as well? Let us give our husbands a wonderful gift on our wedding day...or would it be our courtship? Let us give them a heart that has been touched only by God and our earthly father, and not many men. Let us not awaken love until the time is right.

Do Hard Things...But Fair Warning, It Isn't Always Easy:-)

Around Valentine's Day, I discovered The Rebelution. While I went looking for the modesty survey, I also found the blog in the process. Needless to say, it has been such a blessing to me. It has motivated me...and convicted me. Particularly, they encourage me to "do hard things."

Now, that means something different for each and every individual. For me, it is going against the typical lifestyle that people my age follow. However, of late, "doing hard things" has been just that; it has been hard. On Sunday, we listened to a sermon from R.C. Sproul Jr. He talked about trials in his life (with his daughter and his wife's illnesses) and wondering, "Lord, all this was in the contract when I signed on with you?"

I have felt that way the past two days. I have seen myself as the only homeschooling, modestly dressed, not dating or attending college girl in the entire Pacific Northwest. When thinking of my future graduation, I feel very low. Due to the way I have chosen to live, I won't have many people at my ceremony...and that is sad. Graduations are supposed to be happy affairs, right? At any rate, I have felt like Mr. Sproul. I have had my share of tears. "When is enough enough, Lord? I didn't know that my teenage years where going to be like this:-) I can't do the hard things all alone much more."

However, last night, as I was trying to fall asleep, God reminded me of things that I have written on this blog. I have asked Him to "Bring the Rain" if that is what it takes to be like Him. Magazine articles have talked about "Beauty in Life's Mountains" All of it is worthless if I do not live it out myself. I WANT to "do hard things," regardless of the cost or pain that it will inflict upon me....."Yet you do not have to do it alone, My Daughter. My grace is sufficient for you. My strength is all you need. I know the promises I have for you, and they DO include a future and a hope. Cling to Me when you falter, and I will lift you up on wings like eagles. Even though you are human, I don't want you to stop the hard things. Sure, it is hard, the name suggests that, but I WILL see you through. Continue on with walking the straight and narrow; you are not alone. Do the hard things, Ella. It is okay to be separate: remember that!"

Thank you, Father...thank you!

Across the Miles

Once upon a time, there lived two friends. They shared a great relationship, built on solid foundations and the same convictions. This friendship came about through a comment on a mutual blog, and God used that to bring these two into each other's lives. They have never met in person, but many e-mails have passed between the two of them....and countless prayers as well.

However, as one of them was going to Starbucks in Indianapolis on a certain day, the other girl, this author, thought,"Why not I go to Starbucks as well?" Now of course, the one could not jump on an airplane and join the other one. Yet she could synchronize her watch and go to her local coffee shop when her friend was at hers. And that is just what she did.

At 8 o'clock, mountain daylight time, this author walked into her local Starbucks (in the next town, as her city doesn't have one quite yet) and ordered a Pumpkin Spice Creme...no coffee. At 9 o'clock, central daylight time, Erin walked into a Starbucks Indianapolis and ordered.....I have no idea. As this author was not there, she cannot give a first hand account. However, knowing her friend, I will guess that her drink was definitely something with coffee. =)

Yet while these two were miles apart, separated by states, time zones, and the mighty Mississippi, these friends were at Starbucks together. Both were with friends (I was with my wonderful mother) and both were in the other's thoughts...and prayers.

Erin, I loved our time at Starbucks together. I was thinking and praying for you the whole time I drank my yummy creme. Sure, I wish I had been with you in person, so we could meet face to face at long last. However, it wasn't God's time yet. I do pray that it will be soon, as with all my other long distance friends!


After her time at the coffee shop, this author came away with something. She wants to do this again, whether it be with Erin at Starbucks, or Alice and a movie., or any other friend. This author loved being with a close, God given friend at the same time, doing the same thing....and she would encourage ya'll to do something across the miles as well!

Home Again..and Ya'll Have A Lot To Catch Up On

Yay! It is so good to quit driving! The family got home last night, and did we take it easy! Now, it is time to do laundry, pick up the mail, and update this blog! I hope you all enjoy the pictures, as well as the “daily snippets” I tried to do. (Actually, instead of working of my “own stuff,” I did this.) Everything will be in a daily post, in chronological order, so you might have to read a ways. Anyway, while it was nice to see new places, it is good to be home!

Growing and Changing

It is Sunday, September 02, 2007. As I sit here in the backseat, I stand amazed at God’s beauty, His majesty, and ultimately His grace. Perhaps listening to 4Him hymns has added this “feeling,” this “knowledge,” to my unworthy mind.


We aren’t in California yet; I think we have another 3 hours to go. Yet while the Redwoods are our destination, I must say that I love Oregon! Living in Boise, where trees, dense trees, are few in far between, I am enjoying pine trees on both sides of the interstate, pine trees on the mountains…you get the picture…I hope! I guess the love of green is still deep within me. After all, I lived in the South for ten years, and that is definitely lush.

I marvel at the variety we have here in the United States. Southern Idaho is desert, yet only a few hours away, are firs, pines, and junipers. The Southeast is filled with cypress, azalea, and dogwood, while the Southwest has cacti. North Carolina and Tennessee are renowned for the Smoky Mountains, but across the state line in Kentucky, you have horse pastures galore. Nebraska and the Great Plains are flat, yet wheat and corn fields are everywhere there. Truly, we live in a very diverse world. (Both landscape and people wise, I guess.)

Honestly, I cannot believe that the Lord has allowed me to see the wonders of his creation. I certainly do not deserve it; my sin is ugly to me, it has to be to Him. Yet God’s mercies are new every morning. He enables me to see another day. He has also allowed me to live in a beautiful, free nation. Unlike the Soviet Union with its citizens, I have the ability to travel and see new places. I can experience the Sequoias (the big trees we are going to see) the ocean, and a new state all at the same time. I am so thankful to God that I can see, touch, smell, and hear these beauties.

Perhaps God is also growing me. I am slowly, painfully, learning that I don’t know what my future holds. I have seen that with my church situations, but what if God does have moving in my future? I don’t really want to think of moving from Boise; even with all its failings, it is my home. However, maybe, just maybe, moving is the next step that I am to take along my life’s road. As I do not hold the script, I don’t know what will happen if I do move. I do know that God’s way is better than Ella’s way. (I just don’t always remember that:-) If I am completely truthful with myself, I would say that I would not mind living in Oregon. Okay, it is way more Liberal than I like, but I do find it beautiful. (Way too expensive though)

I seem to be rambling. I guess God is opening my eyes and molding my heart. He knows that I want to live in absolute submission to His will. Perhaps Oregon’s “greenness” is making the first necessary step to my doing that.

Pictures of Trees That Are Perfect For....

Acting goofy and looking ridiculous...and terrible

Taking potential senior portraits

Being a tree hugger just once :-)

Driving amongst them

Proving to the world how short you are ;-)

Memories and Modesty

We finally arrived in California. I must admit that I am having a difficult time not stereotyping the place. After all, my family views California as the second weirdest state in the U.S., with Massachusetts being the first. (Guess it comes from living in a conservative family) Also, I do wish the town we are in was slightly prettier…and friendlier. On that score, it can not compare with what I saw of Oregon.





However, I am loving the ocean!! I have many fond memories of playing in the sand and surf back in the Florida days. I recall past vacations getting sand dollars on the beach. So, when I saw the Pacific, it was like, “wow!” (And to think that the Explorers didn’t know about this ocean….) I believe the plan is to go eat a late picnic lunch on the waterfront; I am looking forward to that. Hopefully, though, it will either be deserted where we go, or that there will be modest dress. I don’t understand why people want to swim in that water; to my memory of the Oregon Coast back in 2001, it was cold! I know that there is “More to Modesty,” but if I have the choice, I don’t want my brother and Dad to have issues with their eyes. They get that enough at home. A vacation is meant for relaxing. NOTE: the dress that day was bad. Mom and I actually thought women were going around in the underwear We chose not to expose the guys to that. Now, it is two days later, and as most everyone is back to school and work, we don’t have any issues.

God doesn’t have to show me any more beautiful wonders. I have seen so much diversity just today. However, there is supposed to be good whale watching. I would love to see that! Wouldn’t it be just like the Lord to show me more than I deserve? He does that enough, in regards to grace for my sins. I really do not need more; He has been “more than enough” on this trip. But yes, I would enjoy seeing one of God’s creatures that you usually don’t see. However, if I do not get to, I am okay with that. Seeing the ocean once again was a great thrill in itself.

What We Gardners Do Best

Well, today’s specialty was driving! You know, it is quite funny actually. We all detest long car rides, like the eight hour ones. However, when we get to our destination, we just drive, drive, and drive. It is that way in Yellowstone, and the Redwoods have been no different.

Yet, today there was a twist. At least three of the roads we went done were either no good or unsuccessful. For instance, we went up a road that was supposedly a good place for whale watching. (Still after that elusive mammal…) Anyway, when we got up to the lookout, it was like we were in an airplane. There was fog all across the ocean, and we were above it all, in blue sky. It was quite cool. We joked that it looked like snow, and that an individual was in for a surprise if they thought, “Oh, I am going to walk in the snow!” They would go falling down the cliff to the rocky bottom below.

The other thing we’ve been driving for today is a seafood restaurant. It is a tradition that every time we are on the Coast, we get seafood. (Besides, the food we packed doesn’t seem to be unfrozen as of yet) However, we have gone up and down the town, and even back into Oregon, and either restaurants are closed or exorbitantly priced. In fact, we still haven’t found anything yet. I think we might be waiting until tomorrow. NOTE: we did not do seafood that night; taco meat was thawed.

We did go walking on the beach today, and no issues with swimsuits. We went in the morning when it was slightly foggy and cold. We also went searching in tidepools. We found a few sea anemones, sea cucumbers, starfish, and some crazy looking seaweed. However, our past finds in tidepools on other vacations have fared better. Perhaps, as we are here for a few more days, things will change. After all, every low tide brings new wonders from the deep of God’s creation.

For the record, the little bit I was in Oregon was so much better than California. We are discovering higher gas prices, more rude drivers and helpers, and green democrats. That doesn’t fit me and mine, does it? I just told Mom today that I do not belong here in California. It is too decadent of a place for me. I know I have no control over where my future husband will want to live, but I really hope California isn’t it…unless there is a really conservative spot that I do not ever hear about!

Do Not Worry....Easier Said Than Done

“Do not be anxious for anything…” I must admit that I do not always live that verse out. All throughout my life, I have struggled with worry and fear. It used to be really bad. In fact, I recall that when I was younger, I once saw a snippet of a tv show and two girls were in an automobile accident; they were misidentified. For years, I used to think that would happen to either of my parents. Yet as I have grown up, and grown in my faith, bit by bit my fears have gone away. (You all know that certain things in Yellowstone help me with that.)

However, that said, I don’t feel comfortable in isolation. I have heard too many murder and kidnapping stories. My own state had an incident last year. At any rate, our “original” campsite here in the Redwoods was the epitome of isolation…or it was that way to Mom and me. Our spot was at least three miles of the beaten path, in the thick growth, and there wasn’t going to be a ranger or a camp host for the majority of our stay. I did not like that one bit. While I do not want to be in a crowd to the point of claustrophobia, I do like people around me. Mom feels the same way. So, we moved the camper to a more “frequented” campground. I feel much more at ease, and I honestly think the rest of the family feels the same way.



The second campground

Perhaps it appears as if my “worry and fear” got the best of me. Perhaps it did. I will confess that last night it took prayer to get me asleep…and recalling to mid songs that I used to sing at age 5. However, the Lord knows how much I want to continue to gain victory in this area of my life, “the hard things,” so to speak. However, I have seen continual small victories in this way; for fear doesn’t really rule my life anymore. Yes, I do get stressed about situations, and I want to take it into my hands, which you all know :-) Yet, I do give Him all the glory, honor, and praise that He is slowly helping me, refining me, in this area of my life.

I want to hear from ya’ll though. Do any of you struggle with worry or fear? In what form does it take place? And what do you do about it?

Leaving California

My family has a reputation for moving, that is sure. We’ve moved across country several times, moved in the Treasure Valley several times, and our camper around more than we planned. We did not bargain on our original campground in the Redwoods being the way it was, which was why we moved first. However, we also didn’t think we would have gone through the whole park in three days time. (We couldn’t imagine that being the case in Yellowstone!) So, we left the Redwoods a day early, and we are on our way to Crater Lake.

We all have said that while the Redwoods were pretty (and tall,) we prefer Yellowstone. In fact, if I had to choose between the tress we’ve seen or the ocean, I liked the ocean best. Like I stated previously, I have fond memories of the beach.

Why do people feel compelled to grafetti things?


I learned two things while in California. The first was that when you go to a seafood restaurant, and there is an entree that is famous with the locals, go for it. On Tuesday, we finally did get our traditional seafood dinner at Beachcomers. I debated about getting the favorite, parmesan halibut, but I opted not to for fear I would hate it. I got fried prawns instead…which I can easily get at Red Lobster back home. (Though I will confess that seafood is a rare treat in any case.) Garrett got the halibut, and I tried it. Boy, was it yummy! Next time, I will just go with my gut instinct and give something new a try. Normally I do and Garrett does not.

The other thing I learned in California was that if I never come back to that state, I would be okay. Sure it would be cool to go to the Golden Gate Bridge, go down Lombard Street, and eat seafood and sourdough at Fisherman’s wharf, but it isn’t an absolute necessity. I do not belong in California. I must be a country bumpkin or something!

Sometimes, Even Vacation Brings About Lessons to Learn

Submission is something that I want to get better in. Lest you think that I have it all together, I want you to be made perfectly aware that I am not. I know that the way I submit now will be the way I submit to me husband…and I do not always act correctly.

I have mentioned that my family has started a woodworking business. And while I like the money that comes from my share of the profits (as I do the books) I don’t like going from woodshop to woodshop. The guys look at exotic woods for what seems to be hours, as Mom and I stay in the car. If I have it right, we have made stops at five wood places, with at least two more planned ones to go.

I will confess that I don’t nearly “do hard things” as often as I want. I am a sinner, who doesn’t always want to be inconvenienced. In fact, I will admit that I can be selfish about it. After all, I don’t go in the wood stores and I don’t care to “shop” as often as we do. It is terrible, but I realize that I want the benefits of the business without all the necessary measures of it.

While Dad never gets angry at me when I make a fuss, I know that he is grieved by my actions. (Mom is too, even though it might bug her some too. She is just more understanding than I am.) However, I grieve myself. I talk on here about submission, but I don’t always practice it myself. For that, I am sorry. I pray that by God’s strength, I will get better at this. I want my husband to get a totally submissive wife! I also need to remember that the “trials,” even ones as mundane as going from wood shop to wood shop, develop character…and I can always use a better one.

Again, I want to know your thoughts. Do you struggle with submission to your dads (or perhaps, if someone married is reading this, your spouse?) How do you better yourself in this area? Or is it just easy for you? If so, how did you get that way?

Crater Lake

Frankly, it is hard to believe all that we have done today. We got to Crater Lake yesterday evening. It was pretty late, as we had been at a, (guess) wood store way longer than anticipated. So, we just set up the camper and slept. It was rather cool; great to wake up to in the mornings. I was surprised that it was cooler there than near the Coast, but perhaps since we were at a higher elevation, it shouldn’t.

Okay, you have to know something about my family. When we go on vacation, it takes us days to see everything. As we had a tendency to remember Yellowstone, I will use it as an example. We are there about five to six days, and going, going, going, every day. Here at Crater Lake, it was a little different. We saw everything in a matter of five HOURS. You can not go down to the water except by one way, yet it was a steep pat, so Dad said no. It is thirty-three miles around the lake, and it is slated that one finishes in about two to three hours. We must take longer than most or something. At any rate, it was lovely. Like Oregon being green, Crater Lake was really blue. God truly uses many different colors on his “creation coloring pallet!”

(Wizard Island on Crater Lake. They say it looks like a qizard's hat. I can't see it, and I think it should have a different name.)


(The Phantom Ship. They say it looks like a pirate ship, so I will call it the Flying Dutchman. Can anyone see the ship?)

The Pinnacles. Crazy looking things, aren't they?

The only waterfall we saw.



Maybe a senior picture...though I am not sure if it is my choice.


Nothing much else after that. We all just took it easy, which was good. We had to change our return trip plans several times, but finally we got it squared away. We are staying near the town of Bend, Oregon for tomorrow night. I remember liking the town when we drove through on our way to the Redwoods

Final Day

The vacation is over. We are heading home now. I do love family vacations, but it will be nice to get changed privately (and not in the dark) and sleep in my own bed, especially after last night.

I did not like the campground in Bend. It was way too much like a fish bowl. There was no privacy whatsoever. When we set up the camper, you walked out the door into a tree. We were right near the bathroom, which is okay, except at night when lights remain on. Now, I like people around me when we go camping; I don’t want isolation like our first Redwoods campground. But I do want space, and we didn’t have it. In fact, we went to Sisters, Oregon, just to get away for a while. That town was pretty busy (I think they were having a bike race or something) Dad and Garrett looked for wood ideas, and I tried to see where Multomah Publishing might be. (Not that I am anywhere near that stage…but more on that at another time.) We also got our tradition vacation ice cream; this year at “ordinary” Baskin Robbins.

I do not want to bat down where I stayed; that isn’t the nicest thing to do. Yet I will be honest. Of all the campground we were at, this one was the worst.