Around Valentine's Day, I discovered The Rebelution. While I went looking for the modesty survey, I also found the blog in the process. Needless to say, it has been such a blessing to me. It has motivated me...and convicted me. Particularly, they encourage me to "do hard things."
Now, that means something different for each and every individual. For me, it is going against the typical lifestyle that people my age follow. However, of late, "doing hard things" has been just that; it has been hard. On Sunday, we listened to a sermon from R.C. Sproul Jr. He talked about trials in his life (with his daughter and his wife's illnesses) and wondering, "Lord, all this was in the contract when I signed on with you?"
I have felt that way the past two days. I have seen myself as the only homeschooling, modestly dressed, not dating or attending college girl in the entire Pacific Northwest. When thinking of my future graduation, I feel very low. Due to the way I have chosen to live, I won't have many people at my ceremony...and that is sad. Graduations are supposed to be happy affairs, right? At any rate, I have felt like Mr. Sproul. I have had my share of tears. "When is enough enough, Lord? I didn't know that my teenage years where going to be like this:-) I can't do the hard things all alone much more."
However, last night, as I was trying to fall asleep, God reminded me of things that I have written on this blog. I have asked Him to "Bring the Rain" if that is what it takes to be like Him. Magazine articles have talked about "Beauty in Life's Mountains" All of it is worthless if I do not live it out myself. I WANT to "do hard things," regardless of the cost or pain that it will inflict upon me....."Yet you do not have to do it alone, My Daughter. My grace is sufficient for you. My strength is all you need. I know the promises I have for you, and they DO include a future and a hope. Cling to Me when you falter, and I will lift you up on wings like eagles. Even though you are human, I don't want you to stop the hard things. Sure, it is hard, the name suggests that, but I WILL see you through. Continue on with walking the straight and narrow; you are not alone. Do the hard things, Ella. It is okay to be separate: remember that!"
Thank you, Father...thank you!
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22 comments:
Hi Ella,
I saw your comment on my blog checked out your sites. I noticed that you live in Idaho, one of my favorite states. I was born there, but spent most of my childhood in Texas. My family just relocated to central Illinois, as I'm sure you gathered from my blog. :)
I also noticed that you link to Alice Valine, a very dear friend of mine! Have y'all ever met, or are you just "long-distance" friends? I love the idea of *getting together* with people who live on the other side of the country...that's so cute!
Looking forward to getting to know you!
I want you to know that even though I am your mom and, therefore, not a teen anymore, that I, too, can struggle with the aloneness that comes from living a life different from the world. I am SO thankful for the like-minded women that I have met online and that you have met too.----I just wish we weren't all scattered across the country. I wish we all lived closer. Maybe one day (this side of Heaven) we will live closer to at least one of our friends.
Wow, that really touched me, Ella! I too, will not be attending college, will be a homemaker, etc. etc. And because of this, my grandmother(whom I have always had a good relationship with) will be terribly disappointed in me and will not be very proud of me at all. Knowing this has brought me to tears time and time again, and at times I feel like giving up and I too feel like the only girl that is on the straight and narrow and truely following God's Word. Your post was such a blessing and encouragement to me, and it strengthened me as well! Thank you so much!! Be strong and of good courage, Ella!
Tiffany, Idaho is one of my favorite states as well. (Though I could be terribly biased.) I haven't always lived out here, though. I did know that you had relocated; I think it was through ya'lls magazine.
Yes, Alice is a very dear friend. I actually met her through Family Reformation Magazine. Naomi had written an article, Mom contacted her, and I got in touch with Alice that way. The rest is history. We have been e-friends for over two years now. However, I hope that will change soon. If all goes well, she will be coming out for a graduation present next year.
I look forward to getting to know you too!
Mom, I know that you struggle just as I do. (I just vocalize it more!) I am so thiankful for the like-minded friends that I DO have, and maybe we will be close one day.
Rebekah, I also will be paining my grandparents with not going to college. And while I know what is truth, and I will not change my path for anything, I want to communicate to others that I am human! You be of good courage too!
It is such a huge encouragement to me to know that there are other girls out there who are also commited to staying at home under their father's roof until marriage. The Lord has truely blessed me by bringing me to your blog!!
Bring the Rain is one of my new favorite songs!
Keep on following, and keep on trusting, Ella! As I was reading in yet another Elisabeth Elliot book yesterday, obedience to God's call is the only thing that will bring you peace and clarity in life! As the song goes, "He is able, more than able, to accomplish what concerns me today." Your faithfulness will be rewarded, maybe not with rewards of lots of friends or money or praise, but with much more eternal things--peace, joy, and, by God's grace, generations after you that are faithful to the Lord!
I saw that you commented on The Rebelution blog, and that's how I found you. Speaking of finding, I'm so glad you found the Rebelution!! Isn't it such a blessing?!
And the modesty survey really helps.
Wow. What encouragement, Alice!
Beautiful, Ella. I too struggle with feeling alone sometimes. But, like you said, God is faithful!
Allie, so glad that you found my blog. Yes, the Rebelution has been a blessing in my life, for the reason that it challenges me A LOT!
Anna, it is so hard to feel alone. I have despaired a bit, but then I am convicted. For what is my blog title?
Ella, I am a newcomer to your blog. I happened across your blog thru Rebekah's blog. I have never been in the situation you are in now with college - I am just learning about Biblical womanhood. I did go to college but speaking from experience there are so many more life education skills to be learned away from college. I am not knocking either way - God knows what is best for each and every one of us. We have to simply trust His decision and even though it might be "hard" it is worth the struggle. I also want to mention that I loved your entry about anxiety while you were on your trip. I am working on this currently and I am glad to hear others have the same problem. Love your blog and can't wait for more.
Becky, I will not knock college wither. I just do not think it is best for yound women. Yet, you are right. God knows for each and every one of us. We all have a different path to walk.
Ella, this was a lovely post. I am a modest, Christian girl as well and I often feel the same way as you do. It is so hard to stay firm in your principles when you feel you're the only one, but through the internet we do see that we are not the only ones. I was very blessed this year to find the blogs Fearlessly Feminine, The Rebelution, yours and many others. They have encouraged me to know that there are other people like myself out there. Though I must say that I was especially pleased to find that you live right next to the town that I now call home!
In Christ,
Ella, this was a beautiful, heartfelt post. I remember feeling lonely in my convictions many times -- and there were many who did not understand. I am so glad that you are willing to be set apart -- for this is the way He would have it be!
Rachel, welcome to my blog. I am so glad that people find it encouraging. It is hard to stand up for your convictions when you feel all alone, even though you really aren't. The blogs I have come across lately have meant much to me as well. I am not as alone! Very cool that you live in a town near me!
Mrs. Beverly, thank you for your encouragement. I also find that many people do not understand me, but God does, and I force myself to remember that!
Thanks for the reminder that when we feel all alone, God is right there beside us, just waiting for us to cling to Him.
I can relate to your feeling and it's a natural one to have. The pressures are real and it's HARD to be different. I graduated a couple years ago and have been staying at home since with no real job or career to speak of. My family is pretty different in how we live (even from A LOT of homeschoolers, I find), so I have limited in person fellowship. The rest is all long-distance, which is such a blessing, but frustrating at times.
However, I know my temptation is often to look at what I perceive I'm "missing out" on and not what I'm really gaining instead. God desires to bring us closer to him in everything we experience - whether surrounded by friends or not.
Matthew 28:20 has been special verse to me in times like this, where Jesus says, "I AM with you always."
Take heart, Ella! You are living for an audience of ONE, and that's ALL that matters.
PS - something Brett (Harris) said at the conference last weekend that challenged me - "No matter how isolated we are, we are not victims."
Hannah, thank you for you encouragement. I really appreciate hearing from older girls who are walking the path I have chosen. It means a great deal to me.
I would love to have been at the Rebelution Conference this past weekend. I knew several people there. It would have been great encouragement to be surrounded by others who are "doing hard things," and yet all are different. Thanks for telling me what Brett said. Lots of wisdom in it.
Hey Ella, thanks for commenting - glad you enjoyed the video! I found your blog via your comments on the Rebelution blog. ;-) I really hope you have the chance to attend the conference somewhere next year!
God bless you - keep doing Hard Things!
Mm, sometimes I feel like the only girl desiring modesty and purity where I live, too, but isn't it so worth it? Sometimes it really does seem hard, but then when I think of the alternative I realize how good it is to be striving for God's best!
Holly
(somehow I got here from the Rebelution, in a roundsaboutsy way ;))
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