Too Close

Throughout life, we have what I am going to call "cliff experiences." We live day to day feeling passionately, getting wrapped up into the various activities we are a part of, getting involved with the lives of those with whom we have interaction and rapport. It is all well and good to be such an individual; however, sometimes we can get too close, too near the edge, for our own benefit. Or other times, we know that we have to step off the cliff and into the great, adventurous unknown....only the familiarity, the safety, and the comfort are what hold us back.

For the past several weeks, I have been having a "cliff experience" regarding this blog. I have wanted to do a particular blog post for some time now. Yet every time that I seek to begin writing it, the words don't come. I have been at a loss as to why; after all, school has kind of prevented cases of writer's block for quite a while now. However, today, I understood something. I'm too close to the situation I want to write about to speak objectively.

I thought that by being years removed from a certain person would make pain less acutely felt. I thought that because I knew God wanted me to write something that the words would just flow effortlessly from my fingertips. However, I'm at the edge of the cliff--I can't step off right now. I am still processing certain recent developments, trying to make sense of them in 1.) how the matter to me personally and 2.) how I can convey my thoughts to all of you. I don't want to write something that is incoherent or worse yet, reduces me to tears because I haven't properly navigated through the confusion....

And you know what, that's okay. I have hopefully learned in twenty-two years of life that God has reasons for our writer's block. It means the time for my post entitled "When Discoveries Hurt" isn't right now. (Which should also put your mind at ease, as I have made this post seem as if I am going through a majorly bad situation. I'm not. Promise.) It's going to sit in my drafts folder, I'm going to work on other blog posts in the meantime....and when I feel like I can step off the cliff without falling flat on my face or breaking my neck, I'll take that step.

So, sorry for my silence the past few days. While I was trying to force an issue, I didn't see that God had a different agenda for me. Isn't that the way it always works?