Embracing Second Chances, Do Overs, and New Opportunities

I cried myself to sleep...if you want to call it sleep. I spent more and more time tossing and turning than anything. Instead of peace and rest finding its way to me, I had flashbacks. My life seemed as if it was heading down a road already traveled a decade ago. I begged for God to not have it be so--I couldn't go through it again. I had finally come to a good place in life, one of peace and contentment. This, well, this would shake it up; the pieces would once again be all over the floor.

A few weeks ago, I wrote a post about questioning. What was it about, you ask? Well, that post was born out of my dad getting laid off from his job. All of a sudden, I was faced with scenarios: not being able to afford our dog's heart medicine, having to quit college because my paychecks would go toward helping my family out, and friends bailing on me because my life got rough--and they couldn't handle it. As I imagined all of this, I felt scars getting ripped open.

When you come to a place of healing, only to be faced with everything you have supposedly "conquered"--it hurts. It's scary. While you are not at the bottom of the pit, you can't help but feel as if you are going to find that familiar spot once again. That cold, dark, lonely spot where you cried tears all alone.

"But joy comes in the morning"
Though I felt weak, I sent prayer requests out to many people across the country. I asked for peace and strength. And God knocked my socks off. Within a span of a few hours, everyone that I had contacted had either e-mailed me, texted me, called me. I felt showered with blessings. I felt....surrounded.

It is an inexpiable feeling, that of being surrounded on all sides. Literally, I felt as if God held me in the palm of His hand as He hoisted me up. And on all sides were my dear friends, putting their hands on my shoulders, wrapping me in hugs. Instead of seeing faces of past hurts (ones that I can still see all too vividly), I saw faces of acceptance and of understanding. I didn't have to have my emotions all together; they most definitely didn't have to be "put together" ones.

It was in that moment that God revealed something to me. History does NOT ever fully repeat itself. It might bear similarities, yes, but similar does not mean equal to. I, at twenty-three--am not the same person I was at thirteen. My friends are stronger. My faith, ultimately, is stronger. It is time to move on from my past. Even in the darkest moments of unemployment, my past does not define me. It is a part of me, yes. Scars are always scars; you always know where they are.

It doesn't define my family either. No less than twenty-four hours later, my dad was blessed with a job. Yes, that's right--a job. One that cut his travel time in half, one where he didn't have to take a pay cut. God went above and beyond than just providing something.

I can't help but marvel at the timing significance. Ten years ago--Dad was unemployed for twenty-five months. In twenty-five hours, not days or months, employment was found. It was almost a sign, meant for me, that God was trying to show me....if only I would stop and pay attention.

I learned a lot from the past. They were good, hard lessons that I had to experience. But my future is the prime time to take those lessons and share them--to put them into practice. And my future is my tomorrows, the days I still have left to live. Why else does Christ have me go through them if not to learn something?!

God is a god of second chances and do overs. Every time we define ourselves by what we used to be, God shows us that we are new creations, made in His image. Broken, yet made beautiful. Whole and sustained. We're not our past. It is not us. History does not repeat itself.

"Fear not, for I have redeemed you, I have called you by name: You are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you, and through the waters, they shall not overflow you." Isaiah 43:1

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9