Feelings of Acceptance

Picture courtesy of Melinda....and it's minus a few people =)

I sat back and silently sipped my sangria. All I wanted to do was survey the scene around me. Burgers, fries, milkshakes, beers, Long Island iced teas, sangrias....all of it was on the table. Laughter was in the air. The most random of conversation threads would ensue only to be met with another one. The table was so long, I couldn't carry on a conversation except with those closest in proximity to me.

But it didn't matter. I still felt like this group accepted me--liked me--for who I was. They did not change who they were to impress me and I didn't have to change to impress them. They were themselves; all they did was just add me into the mix.

It had been that way all week. At the rehearsal dinner the evening before, I took some time getting acclimated to everyone. Thankfully, I had begun to gradually meet people on Thursday or else I would be have been in over my head. (The introverted side coming out ;)) I could carry on conversations...although I do think the double shot of espresso that I had had helped with that. Just being a part of a group again was enough.

Those feelings. Once upon a time they had been a part of my life. But they hadn't been....and still aren't....for many years. Leaving churches because of false teachings is a good thing (a VERY good thing) but it also caused "friends" to fall by the wayside. Church "shopping" doesn't really allow for relationship development. And while I enjoy my church now, I feel most accepted by 3-6 year olds. Young adults who think with the same Biblical worldview as I do, have the same standards and background as I do, who want to have fun but in a healthy way like I do.....they just don't exist in my circles. They're not visible. I will not go into the reasons why. =)

Being a Christian, homeschool educated, CollegePlus doing, wife/mother/writer desiring girl has its good points....but it also makes it very hard to feel accepted sometimes. People constantly judge my choices, choices that I know God has led me to (but are against the norm BIG TIME). I know the looks. I know the comments. I get it here all the time.

I do have dear friends; they just all live states away from me. So hanging out with 18-26 year old guys and girls over food and fellowship...it reminded me of what I have been missing for so many years.

Community. 

Who knows. I probably scared half of the people I met away....=) But hopefully, they know how grateful I am. Grateful that for one weekend, I felt like a part of a family again. I felt like I belonged. I felt like I seamlessly fit right in....and I hadn't felt that way in a long time. It's one of the many reasons why I want to go back and see these people again. Was it just in the "spirit of the day?" Or was it more than that? I'd like to think it was the latter. (And it probably was, so one of my dearest friends will tell me)

So to everyone who made me feel one of the gang:
*For driving me back to the airport
*For making jokes about my height
*For talking about name pronunciations
*For convincing me what drinks to get
*For the Starbucks run when I desperately needed one
*For the random Pinterest memes
*For the talks about higher education
*For the TV show comments and "role ideas"
*To the guys who treated me with respect and courtesy (yet were fun at the same time)
*To the girls who weren't mean girls by ANY stretch of the imagination but were instead some of the best around
*For the laughter and the hugs

Thank you. It meant more than you will ever know.