The giant tree in my backyard always speaks to me. Not "Grandmother Willow from Pocahontas" type of speaking....more like the trees of Narnia. Words and thoughts always come to me when I am sitting underneath its branches and on its really knobby roots. It is a tree that always seems to bloom a few weeks earlier than others--and become colored earlier than others.
It's kind of a weird tree.
A few Sundays ago, I spent a lovely afternoon in the sunshine. I soaked up the buzzing of bees (even if they did drive me nuts) and the faint scent of lilacs that was in the air. I listened to music on my iPod and wrote letters. It was a blessed time. But in those quiet moments, I had thoughts spinning in my head.
Ask anyone who knows me and they will tell you that is either a REALLY good thing or a REALLY bad thing.
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I glanced down at the letters that I had written. There were high school and college graduation notes. There was a note to the friend who is four months pregnant. There was the engagement card. And oh yeah, I had just ordered two bridal shower gifts online. Suffice it to say, all of the cards had to do with momentous events...and then, there was little ol' me.
Yes, I knew I was living a blessed and full life. My work schedule was full of commitments and challenges and programs. I was working at my church and loving every minute of it. School was going well, despite the challenges with Algebra. (I had gotten an "A" on my latest course after all =). When I added all of it together, I knew I had an amazing life. But I began the comparison game.
For what did I have to show with my life?
I am 23--the same age, if not older, than everyone I had written to. But I wasn't married. I wasn't engaged. I was still in college. There seemed as if there was something with me, even though I knew that not to be the case. After all, I hadn't seen myself being this "type" of person even five years ago. I could have gotten despondent, but in that moment, the tree stepped in.
Yes. The tree stepped in.
In that moment, I felt God remind me of one simple, yet profound truth. Life is a lot like the plants around us. Every thing blooms.....but at different rates. That analogy of a children ripping open a bud before its ready to blossom, well, it's a true one. If something happens before it is ready or in its prime, its potential is lessened. Everything needs to lie dormant for a while for growth to happen. Sure, it is annoying. Sure, it drives one batty with impatience and frustration and doubt.
Every spring I survey the yard around me. The giant tree is already abounding with leaves. The wisteria vine barely has any color to it. The cherry trees have leaves, but the plums are not as far along. Yet all of it is as it should be. And that is when it hit me.
I am like one of these trees.
I am in a different state of blossoming than my friends are. It doesn't mean they are right and I am wrong. I am not less of a person. God just has me lying dormant from experiencing certain events....but just for right now. It won't always be this way, just like it won't always be the case for trees and flowers. One day, I will be getting congratulatory cards on completely my college journey. One day I will be telling my friends about my wedding ideas instead of me being the one asking.
The Lord is really trying to drive home something to me in 2013. To bloom where I am planted. To focus on what I do have as opposed to what I do not. It is hard to do, especially when you "want what she is having." But I love that I can count on tulips in April, irises in May....both beautiful flowers....that happen at different times.
I hold those truths close to my heart. So I sit back against the tree and its cool bark. I raise my head to the sky and praise God. Praising him for where He has for my friends, praising Him for the strength to handle it all, and praising Him in advance for the dreams I will have fulfilled.
When the dormancy is over. When my time to shine and blossom and grow has arrived.
And it always does.
6 comments:
What an incredibly beautiful, honest, and insightful post. I love your attitude! Your friends are blessed to have you in their lives. You are the best kind of friend anyone could ever have or want! I'm so proud to be your mom.
I love you!
This is one of the best blog posts I've ever read.
Thank you for reminding me of this.
Such a good post.
I know how you feel as I am in that season of life as well. It hit me the other day as I sat, surrounded by my friends and realized...they were all couples. I never considered myself to be the "I wish I was married." person either (and, I'm not really.) but there are those moments when I feel alone and wish I had the companionship that all my friends seem to be finding.
Of course, I have you - now *we* are single buddies. :)
Love you!
Wonderfully said, Ella, my friend. You are an inspiration and I thank you for offering this beautiful analogy. It's a reminder we all need from time to time. :)
You are in a wonderful place right now. Never forget that.
Your mom sent me this post, what beautiful words. You are so eloquent! The tree analogy is perfect and so very true. You have so much life ahead of you, you're beautiful both inside and out (like your precious mama) and, like you said, you're exactly where you're meant to be right now:)
Brava!
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