The Pain of Parenting

When we were little, it seemed as if getting bigger would never come. We longed to do some of the things the grown-ups did....or at least what the "big kids" did. However, the older I get, the more I realize how simple and wonderful those single digit years were.

Oh, yes, growing up has brought about some really nice things. It is so cool to finally cast your first ballot (like I did on Tuesday!!!) It is enjoyable to have a whole new world of food available to you (and not just chicken strips and French fries) Getting to stay up late is fantastic. Yet....included with these wonderful changes, the difficulties come too. The hormonal issues, the friendship problems, making difficult decisions, walking the less traveled path...sometimes it can be enough to make us want to turn back around. Or we can look ahead and go, "Parents only have to worry about money. Life is easier for them. I cannot wait for that stage of life."

And yet, this past week my eyes have been opened to the pain that comes with being a parent. In the midst of the first steps and first words, watching the spiritual maturity, the laughs and smiles, there can also be found tears, doubts, and pain. There is the watching your child struggle with health issues....and yet, you do not have the answers or the ability to make him better. Or there is the even greater pain of having a memorial service for your daughter who died before she should have.

These pains have been felt by some friends of ours this week....and also in the lives of the Chapman family, as everyone knows. My heart has broken especially for the latter, for I cannot begin to imagine what it is like to lose a child at such a young age. Steven Curtis Chapman's music has been of such healing for many--now it is his turn to need the healing.

Pain and hardship can cause us to turn tail and run. Watching parents go through these issues can make us question if we want to run the risk of experiencing them ourselves. We think that avoiding is the best answer there is. Yet, I can tell you that nothing has changed with me. Just as I know that Steven and Mary Beth Chapman do not regret one minute they had with Maria, I will not regret what happens as a result of being a wife and mother.

It is the same as with anything. The painful times are only a part, but an essential part, of the bigger picture. Without the one, the other would not give such a testimony to God. That doesn't mean it hurts less, by any means! Yet, prayer will see us through all things that God brings to us; it doesn't matter if they are stupid issues or heartbreaking issues. Christ wants us to cling to Him with it all.

I would ask that you all continue to pray for the Chapman family. Faith is tested under struggle. In the end, we are either refined or we collapse. Lert's pray that for them, and all struggling parents, that they would be refined by the Father's fire...that they would feel carried to Jesus. And that we might learn from their testimony.