Keep Moving Forward

In the Disney flick "Meet the Robinsons," Lewis spends much of his time living in the past. His whole goal is to invent a time machine/ memory scanner so he can find out why his mother abandoned him...and change that circumstance. Because he was so wrapped up in such pursuits, Lewis passes up the chance to get adopted by loving new families; he only has one friend. It takes a trip into the future for him to see "what will be"....only if he doesn't seek after the past anymore. He has to keep moving forward to achieve his fullest potential.

Now, back to the real world, so to speak ;-)

A few days ago, I found myself really pondering the past. You see, we do a lot of walking around here; my city is that type of city. Downtown along the river is some of the prettiest scenery we have here..and believe it or not, the college campus fits into that category. My steps found me walking along such a path earlier this week; I found my eyes, mind, and thoughts with the college students as they headed to their classes. And I wondered the inevitable "what if."

It has been a crazy two years. Years in which I took, as I like to call, "a journey through legalism, a journey towards grace." Years in which I believed college for girls was a great evil; times that I believed you could only wear skirts, listen to Christian music, and watch next to nothing of movies/TV...suffice it to say, I am not the same person anymore. (It is a story for another time ;-) I have set my God-given desires on culinary school, marriage and a family...these are the dreams that will not die; I seek His will and pray about them every single day.

Because of past mistakes, however, I can feel these aspirations will never be quite attained. I hacked into my college fund, making it near impossible (without going into massive debt) to attend culinary school reasonably. Because of church changes, personality changes, moves....I don't have a significant other in my life and I wonder some days if there ever will be. A family of my own can't happen until marriage does!

So, on this particular afternoon, the what ifs paraded through my mind. What if I had gone to college right away? Would I have some culinary certification under my belt? What if I had decided to do typical dating instead of a "courtship" or sorts? Would I have found my Prince Charming by now? What if we hadn't moved or changed churches numerous times? Would I have been in a position to be having a family?

Maria Von Trapp once said: "It will be very interesting one day to follow the pattern of our life as it is spread out like a beautiful tapestry. As long as we are here, we only see the reverse side of the weaving and very often the pattern, with its threads running wildly, doesn't seem to make sense. Someday, however, we will understand." I am honest enough to admit that I do not understand Christ's plan for my life; I know there is one. Jeremiah 29:11 reaffirms that to me....but that doesn't mean that I don't doubt....because I do.

As I finished my walk, I sighed a pensive sigh, took a deep breath, and didn't look back. I have to remember that focusing on the past is no way to live my life. I have to keep moving forward. Life is only going to get better, but the past plays a part. Pieces fall into place that might not otherwise do so. Remember in Meet the Robinsons? If Lewis had stopped his mother from abandoning him, he would have missed out on the incredible life and family he gets at the end of the movie?

So what will I end up getting? Only my Father knows. All I can do is trust, pray, and move forward through the doubt.....that's all He wants from me. He has the rest of my life under control; when I get to Heaven, everything that I have gone through will make sense. The same goes for you. I hope that encourages you as you face today!