When We Don't Understand

What can you say that won't come out like an empty platitude or cliche? How can you communicate that you fully empathize with their pain? How do you handle the feelings of knowing that you cannot do anything to "fix" the situation? You hang up and sigh.....were you of any help? Or were you reminded of your own finite nature and inadequacy?

************************

I am a perfectionist. I like being able to fix things and situations so as to make them better. However, the more I go through life, the more that I realize that I can't fix everything. It is getting to be about 75/25 in favor of my NOT needing to "play God." But there are days when I *still* think that my way is superior. After all, it doesn't have to be for myself--it is to help someone else.

This past week has found me having heart to heart talks with a couple of my dearest friends in the world. They have been conversations both over the phone and over Facebook chat that have had tears and sighing involved. For once, I can say that the talks were not about me ;-) (Which is such a good thing. I want to spare my friends drama occasionally ;-) That being said, when we ended, I wanted nothing more than to give a hug and make everything better....to see their burden go away--but I can't.

I do not understand why things work happen the way that they do. Why are some given such physical pain on this earth? Why are finances so tough? Why are some married before others? Why....why.....why.....Unlike in books, where we can get to the end and know the "why" behind the protagonist's point, in life we are not so lucky.

And God intended for it to be that way
A dear sister and I talked about how we have both--but especially her--have gone from saying "Why can't I fix this" to "I don't understand Lord." I know it doesn't sound like much of a change, but I think it does. It's proof that instead of trying to find answers in ourselves, instead we look to the One who knows ALL the answers. Because even though we doubt, even though we question, the Lord really does know the "why" behind our book's plot. The ending has been written despite what we might think.

I'll never be able to fix everything
I can't do anything more than be there through difficult times. I can pray and I can be a listening ear....that's it. I cannot change situations so instead of thorns, there are roses. I cannot take away the rain that God brings. God reminded me of an "old" MercyMe song called Bring the Rain that put everything into perspective for me.
Rain comes no matter what. 
It is how I respond in the rain that matters. It's accepting it with an umbrella, admitting that you don't want to use an umbrella and would rather be walking through sunshine.....and it's knowing that rain showers do end. They make sense after awhile. They leave everything they touch slightly more green and rich and alive and growing than when they arrived.

That thought, that knowledge, makes me stay on my knees. I want to be one who more than just lifts "I don't know why's" in prayer. I desire to be one goes through fire--both in my life and in the lives of others--and comes out better on the other side. But it doesn't mean that it will be easy.

It's all just a part of this process called life--messy, dirty, painful, beautiful life.