In the Same Boat

I couldn't do it anymore
Everything kept cascading down at once. Between the hormones, the Facebook updates, and the phone calls, I just broke. I had been riding such an emotional high, feeling as if I was finally improving. Finally believing that I had put some demons behind me. All it took was one afternoon for them to become oh so real once more.

I plugged in my headphones, blaring the tunes with words I needed to hear. Yes, they were a balm to my soul, and yet, I continued to sit on the edge of my bed as tears streamed down my face. What was wrong with me? Why was I affected by things this way? I felt so alone--like no one understood.

Deep down, I knew that God did. After all, Hebrews 4:15 says that "This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses, for he faced all of the same testings we do, yet he did not sin." I took comfort in that and that "God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, He will show you a way out so you can endure it." (1 Corinthians 10:13) Still, I felt so vulnerable. No earthly person could understand me and my pain.

Until I was reminded that nothing was further from the truth
I grabbed my phone and ranted to someone who I thought would understand, especially based on a conversation we had had a few days earlier. What followed was the knowledge was that I wasn't alone. That other people had the same struggles that I did. They also wanted to yell as one happy Facebook relationship status change popped up. They also felt "old" at the age of 23. They desired the same things and felt it was hopeless as well.

A few hours later, I had almost the exact same conversation with another person....who felt the exact same way. Who empathized with my emotions and were struggling with their own. As horrible as it is to say, I felt happy that others were feeling pain....my pain. I wasn't alone.

It was in the moment I discovered something about myself
I needed to take off my blinders and realize that other people had issues just as I did. They also hid behind facades every so often. After all, who wants to be the girl who tells their dearest friend they are struggling? That they really are happy and yet in that moment, you caught them in a moment of weakness and jealousy? No one wants to me that girl! So we hide, we smile through tears, and believe that we're the only one in the world with problems.

Nothing is further from the truth. We live in a world filled with problems and people in possession of those problems. But we want to give the aura of being perfect--of having it all together--so we act as if everything is alright. We do not confide to some that, frankly, on certain days, life is the pits.

Sharing struggles helps
Once I was honest with some dear friends this week, I felt better. Not instantly better. I didn't all of a sudden cease to struggle. In fact, it's been a weekend where I have had to control the demons time and again. But it felt nice to not have the facade the entire time. It felt nice to be one hundred percent honest as opposed to ninety percent honest. And by God's grace, with every passing hour, I get better. Life is a process and I am thankful for friends who help aid in that process.

So I challenge you
Who do you confide in? Do you let some see the real you? This week, I'm glad that I did not completely hide my tears, that I rediscovered the other people in the boat as well.

How about you?