Not Apologizing

There's a lot of apologizing in the world right  now. Either that or there are people demanding an apology for something. People want others to like them, accept them, think of them as perfect people. And if they defy certain stereotypes, then something must be wrong with them. We are indoctrinated with varieties of this message from a young age.....and it continues until the day we die.

I am a person who likes people liking them. I don't want people hating me and when I have done something, I won't rest until I know what it is until I fix it. However, over the past few years, the Lord has done some working in my life. He showed me that while there are things I do need to apologize for (like when I have wronged someone), there are others where, frankly, it's okay to be different. And not apologize.

I'm in a season of life right now where I cannot help but feel different. I am a twenty-three year old single girl. I work outside of the home, in a job that I love, and I'm going to college. I kind of go against those homeschooler stereotypes and I love it. But some days I wonder what others think of me. Do they really approve of me? Should I change to meet their expectations? I come back with a resounding "NO" every single time.

This is who I am. I'm the girl who loves "How I Met Your Mother" and college football. I love my country music as well as my Chris Tomlin and Casting Crowns. I love my romantic comedies and I do have a glass of wine every now and then. I am the one who is passionate about adoption and I believe in sexual purity...My list goes on and on. You know that Dr. Seuss quote that goes "Today you are you, that is truer than true. There is no one who is youer than you?" Well, I definitely feel like that sums me up most days.

I have had to watch myself lately. Satan knows my buttons and he knows which ones to push. He knows I question if I am conservative enough to get  married. If I am ever going to meet a guy who will love me for ALL aspects of me and not want to change my little idiosyncrasies. It doesn't matter what I tell myself: there are days where I am tempted to take it all back, to apologize for the person I know God has made me to be.

And then the Lord reminded me of one big thing: The people who love me, truly love me, will not ask me to change and conform to their standards. They will push me closer to Christ, to look to Him for life's answers. They will remind me of how there are gray areas in life, in His word, and I was to find them for myself.

I can tell you right now that I feel right in the middle of God's will--and trust me when I say that there is no place better to be! That even goes for these single years. They might be downright pain, just as they were two weeks ago. But they are refining me bit by bit and I do not apologize for it.

It is the easier thing to apologize. And I know tomorrow I will probably be tempted yet again to do so. But God made me, made YOU, for more than man's approval. He has a purpose for all us. So don't apologize if you find yourself from a different background than most people--if you're single when everyone else is married. You aren't alone. You are important....and you are amazing.

Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. That goes for me too =)\

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"Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex. Your workmanship is marvelous--how well I know it."~~Psalm 139:14