Competition always brings a healthy dose of excitement into life. Countries cheer on their athletes every Olympic Games; on shows like "The Amazing Race" or "American Idol" or "Project Runway," everyone has their favorite choice. Feeling the need to succeed has a tendency to drive us to do the very best we can...only for me, I can take competition to a ridiculous level.
Ever since I was little, I have made myself be in competition with others. I had to study, study, study--just so I would be at the the top of my class. I hated when someone younger than myself was close to reaching me in piano ability--I HAD to make sure I was better and always remained further along. You name it, I can turn any normal task into a competitive thing if I am not careful.
I have had flare ups with this attitude this past week. Silently, I have been wrestling with why I do seem to be "second best" and others are at where I want to be (yet I am unable to do so for a vast variety of reasons.) I have struggled when it seems like others are beginning to look like me a little too much. After all, I became who I was because of the Lord...and I feel others should have the same journey, instead of looking to me. It has made me question just how indispensable I really am.
But the Lord reminded me of something. (Can't you tell that He has a way of doing that? ;-)) Just as I do not want to demand perfection of myself anymore, I do not want to become so competitive as to drive people away, or make myself sick with holding to an unattainable standard...that isn't what the Lord has called me to do. I am very special in His sight. If for some reason I feel "inferior," it is in my perception and that alone.
Why do I share all this with you? I want you all to know just how human I feel sometimes, how thankful I am for God's grace to do better....also, I hope maybe my simple words encourage and challenge you. Are you being too competitive in your daily life? ;-)
3 comments:
You have experienced great victory in these areas!! I see it on so many fronts.
I have often struggled with feeling like I am in competition with someone...always jumping through hoops to perform just right, to get the attention and praise they are getting.
I also often compare myself to others, and I always come up short. I think it's human nature to do that.
But by God's grace I am gaining victory in those areas. It is definitely a learning/growing process.
I love you!!
Mom
Glad I found your blog again - you changed the url and I couldn't find it until your mom linked to it from hers. Keep writing and sharing what the Lord is teaching you - it encourages many, I know!
I am so confused -- when you changed your URL, I added the new one to my Google Reader, than I FINALLY visited the site (sorry it's taken me so long!), click "follow," and accidentally end up UN-FOLLOWING. BAH!!! :P I think we're all straightened out now. :)
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