White Picket Fences

I like white picket fences. I really do. I used to live in a house with an awesome vinyl picket fence that I helped build. I love the look of them from a street, with their (at least in my imagination) picturesque lawns and stunning houses with dormer windows.

Recently, I was talking with a dear friend about life, as two twenty-three year olds are apt to do in this day and age. We both are surrounded by people who are getting married, living the American dream with their own places, the kids, etc.....and that's when she said something that hit me:

"I don't want the white picket fence."

I thought about it for a second. I mean, I knew her desire to still be married--so she wasn't heading in the complete opposite direction from even a few months ago. But what did she mean?

"I do not desire a life that is safe. White picket fences are safe; it's what they symbolize. I find living the complete June Cleaver thing boring and dull. It doesn't push me towards doing great things."

It was then I completely got it. One hundred percent....and I completely agreed with her.

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You all now by know how much I desire to be married. It is true. I believe the Lord told me I would someday and I look forward to that day. But I am also a girl who--call it feminist or whatever you want--does desire to do more with a husband and kids than just cook and clean. NO, I don't want to go out and get a career that makes me abandon my family. I want to do something WITH my husband and kids; I want to be everything He wants me to be and do everything He wants me to do....

I don't want a safe life either.
As it is, I don't live a safe, expected life. I go to college when a LOT of my friends didn't. I am (mostly) content with not being married at twenty-three. I choose to be very involved with my job at the library and be heavily involved in my church. All of it puts me out there with people. Trust me, I would rather stay in a safe bubble, here at home, where I don't run the risk of hurt, rejection, or failure.

But that is no life. At least for me. I look ahead to where I would like to be. I don't desire something that screams of perfection. I'm not a perfect human being by any stretch of the imagine. And I don't want perfection.

There is a difference between nice things and things that box me in
Don't get me wrong. I still want a nice house (that yes, I am known to imagine in my mind looking like one from Southern Living. I know. I know. Unrealistic). I desire a husband and children. Ones that do not cheat on me or cause me heartache. But I also don't want cookie cutter scenarios. I don't always cook neatly in the kitchen and I don't always want life being neat either. For me, one of the ways in which I don't see it being "neat," is that I want to adopt my children. And let's face it, adopting is not exactly the "white picket fence." Depending on how old the child is, there is baggage; you can go through a tumultuous time. Having something I can control one hundred percent in this area would box me in........and frankly, I do not think the Lord has that path for me.

Every one has a different path they are to walk. If we all looked the same, if all of us resided in the same "houses," this life would be very boring. So I defy anyone who thinks we need to have certain stereotypes--even ones that involve husbands and children.

I look at my friends who are getting married. They are doing things their own way.....and I am sure that the Lord has certain scenarios He wants them to avoid, to keep them from living in the safety zone. It's a beautiful thing to watch. And as I watch, I dream about my own....who knows what further ways the Lord will change me into my own version of June Cleaver. For yes, I will always wear heels in the kitchen (or be barefoot in the kitchen), look chic, and care about my kids. But there will be so much more as well. And it will be all a part of the woman He makes me to be.

What about you? Are you letting your life stay in the white picket fence? Or are you stepping outside of it and making your life, your house, your OWN?

Therefore, since we are surrounded by a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders us and the sin that so easily entangles. Let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of our faith."--Hebrews 12:1-2a